


The Natural Law

by Rebness



Category: Better Call Saul, Breaking Bad
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-05
Updated: 2015-07-05
Packaged: 2018-04-07 20:01:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4276119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rebness/pseuds/Rebness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bored on one summer's day, Jesse Pinkman and his friends take some time out to visit Spaceman McGill.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Natural Law

This fic was inspired by a fun piece of art by [Constance](http://41.media.tumblr.com/f1c7c2da873828e23fa108ae6249e823/tumblr_nkb6zdRIBp1qdyk2go1_1280.jpg), my favourite BCS artist. Check out her portfolio!

 

* * *

 

 

'I'm so _bored_ ,' said Badger. He flopped down onto the couch dramatically and threw his arm over his eyes. 'This game sucks, having no money sucks and you two suuuuuck.'

'Oh, yeah?' said Skinny Pete. 'Nobody's askin' ya to stay.'

'Then I'll go, asshole,' said Badger, but there was no heat behind it. He slouched down further into the couch. 'Jesse, can't you get a pizza in or something?'

Jesse shook his head. 'Shut up, I'm concentrating on Rainbow Road!'

'There's only crappy fruit and stuff in the fridge,' said Badger. 'Can't you get your aunt to buy normal food?'

'She's sick, asshole.'

'Yeah, but you're not.' He snorted. 'No wonder you're built like a rat.'

'Hey, fuc-- now look what ya made me do!' Jesse threw the controller away from him in a fit of temper and turned the Gamecube off. 'I hate this stupid game!'

Skinny Pete shoved him out of the way and sat down in front of the TV, grabbing the controller as he turned the Gamecube back on. 'You hate it because you can't handle it. I'll show you how it's done.'

'God, I'm so bored!' said Badger again.

‘You’ve said that like ten times already and it’s pissing me off,' said Jesse. He glowered at his friend. 'We need to go have some fun already.'

'Like score something?' said Badger hopefully.

'Dude, I got like 10 dollars.' He stood up and moved onto the chair opposite, rolling onto his back. He stared up at the ceiling. ''Sides, I thought you wanted pizza.'

'Anything that's not damn fruit,' said Badger. 'Or just, y'know, let's get outta the house. We haven't done anything _all day_ and it's boring.'

'What do you wanna do?'

'I dunno, let's go annoy someone.'

'We could go TP Mr. White's house. I said I was gonna get the prick.'

'You need to let that go,' said Skinny Pete. 'You know a good quote I read about karma? " _There's a natural law of karma that vindictive people, who go out of their way to hurt others, will end up broke and alone._ "'

'He's gonna flunk me,' said Jesse moodily. 'I know it.'

'So what? I flunked out already and I'm doing fine.'

Jesse and Badger exchanged a look over Skinny Pete's head.  'Anyway,' said Badger finally. 'We’ve done his house like three times already in the last month and anyway, I don’t wanna drive up there.’

‘We have to drive somewhere ‘cos there ain’t anything around here in suburban hell.'

‘Dog House?’ said Skinny Pete.

‘I’m not hungry.'

'Well, I am!' said Badger. 'C'mon, Jesse. Get me a hot dog.'

He sighed. 'Fine! But Skinny's gotta get some beer, 'cos I ain't putting up with you without something to take the pain away.'

Skinny Pete turned to him, grinning. He gestured to the TV, where Mario had come first. 'Deal, loser.'

 

* * *

  
'Christ, it's too hot,' grumbled Jesse.

'Take off your hoodie already,' said Badger.

'Nah man,' he said. He pulled the hood further over his head and adopted the same slouching gait Skinny Pete had. The old lady who lived across the road looked up from her watering can and waved at him. He winced and turned away. 'Um, let's head up through 16th Street instead. We can stop off at the liquor store on the way there.'

'It's so damned quiet around here,' said Skinny Pete. 'You're one lucky bitch, Jesse.'

'Whatever,' he said. 'Being kicked out wasn't lucky, was it?'

'I was kicked out and ended up in a bedsit over on South Valley.' He laughed wryly. 'You're in a mansion.'

'Whatever, man.' He rubbed at his nose in irritation.

'There's literally a country club two blocks down from you,' Badger chimed in helpfully.

'Do you want a hot dog or not?' snapped Jesse. He pulled ahead, plunging his hands into the pockets of his hoodie.

'C'mon, we're just playin' with ya!' said Badger.

Jesse hunched his shoulders, scowling. He could hear them chuckling behind him. He crossed the road onto 16th Street Southwest, grumbling to himself. He flinched when Badger came running up behind him and laid a hand on his shoulder. 'Get off me, asshole--!'

'Jesse!' whispered Badger urgently. 'It's Spaceman McGill!'

'Oh my God!' he said, laughing. He pulled his hood down. 'I haven't seen that crazy bastard in months!'

'Who haven't you seen?' said Skinny Pete, catching up with them.

'Spaceman McGill,' said Badger excitedly. He spread his hands wide.  'He goes apeshit at lights and electricty and stuff.'

'What about solar power?'

'I don't know! He thinks it's like aliens or something, taking over his mind. That's right, isn't it, Jesse?'

'Yeah,' he said. 'My aunt told me it's neuroclear.'

'What?'

'He's _nuts_ ,' said Jesse laconically. 'Yeah, that's it. Just plain nuts.'

'Why's he dressed like he's in _Signs_?' said Skinny Pete.

Badger burst out laughing. 'Oh, man! He is!'

Jesse grabbed his arm. 'Take a photo!'

'On this phone? It's shit. We'll have to get closer, yo.'

‘You gotta be careful,’ said Badger. ‘That other guy kicked me up the ass one time.’

‘What other guy?’

‘I don’t know. His gay lover who stays over sometimes.’

They crept up on Spaceman McGill as quietly as possible, which was a challenge in itself as Badger could not stop laughing. The old man was hunched over the mailbox, trying to retrieve something.

'Careful,' said Skinny Pete. 'People with electromagnetic hypersensitivity can go nuts if you--'

'Electro what?' said Badger, shaking his head.

'Stop being pussies, the pair of you,' said Jesse. 'Give me your cell, Badger. I'll get the picture.'

He didn't look back as Badger handed him the cellphone. He puffed himself up and raised his chin, swaggering over to Spaceman McGill. He patted the mailbox and stood there grinning as the man reeled back in horror. 'Yo, how are you today?'

McGill stood tall, but the silver blanket around him flapped comically in the breeze. 'I'm fine. What do you want?'

‘Dude, did you ever see _Signs_?’ asked Skinny Pete. 'Is this, like, a homage?'

Badger chuckled. ‘I think there’s an alien in your basement, yo.’

'What are you boys talking about?' scowled McGill. 'Go on, get out of here.'

‘Just one question,' said Jesse. 'What’s the truth about 9/11?'

'Don't be absurd,' said McGill. 'Now just leave, before I--'  

‘Are you allergic to the sun?'  said Badger. He stepped up close, positioning himself between McGill and the entrance to the house. 'Is that it?’

'Oh man,' said Jesse, eyes widening. 'Are you a vampire?'

'You need to back off right now!' hissed McGill.

'Total vampire,' said Badger.

‘Why are you doing this?’ said McGill, his voice thin and despairing. ‘You’re hurting me.’

‘Are you allergic to people?’ asked Jesse.

‘ _Please_.’

'Relax, we just want a photo op!' said Badger.

'What-- who are you?' said McGill. 'Get away!' He stared down in horror at the cellphone in Jesse's hand, pulling the foil blanket closer around himself.

'Hey, are you okay?' said Jesse. 'Don't have a heart attack, I was just--'

'Get away!' shouted McGill.

'Jesse, get the picture!' hollered Badger. He darted forward and placed his arm around McGill's shoulder. 'Quick, do it!'

'Don't!' cried McGill, pulling away from Badger, but it was too late; Jesse held the cellphone up and took a snap, before plunging it into his pocket.

McGill wilted in Badger's arms. Badger pulled away. 'Dude, what the fuck?' he said.

Skinny Pete stood at the bottom of the driveway, arms folded judiciously. 'Told you. He's having a full blown panic attack now.'

'Let's get outta here!' said Badger.

Jesse ignored him. He ambled over to McGill, who had sagged to the floor, trembling. Jesse retrieved the space blanket, which McGill had dropped in his panic, and draped it over his shoulders. 'Here, you can stop freaking out now.'

'Who the hell do you think you are!' snarled McGill. The anger in his voice was belied by the terror in his eyes, which were wide open. 'Do you know what you've done?'

'It was just a photo!' he said.

'Jesse, let's bounce!' cried Badger.

'Just a photo?' snapped McGill. He grabbed hold of Jesse's arm.

'You're hurting me! Get the fuck off!'

'You just exposed me to the electromagnetic field for fun?'

Jesse struggled against his hold. He was surprisingly strong for an old man. He could hear Badger and Skinny Pete laughing in the distance, and he flushed. 'Will you just let go, you stupid old bastard!' he said, pushing at McGill.

McGill shoved him aside; he fell to the floor with a cry of alarm. Badger and Skinny Pete fell about laughing as McGill sprinted towards the house and wrenched the door open.

‘Sonovabitch!’ snapped Jesse. He stood up, raising his palm to see the deep cut from the stone on which he’d hurt himself. ‘Psycho!’ he shouted.

McGill turned in the doorway. His voice was stern and steady. ‘Deliberate cruelty is unforgivable.’ And he stood up taller, somehow imposing even with that ridiculous silver sheet wrapped around his shoulders, though he was drenched with sweat. He stepped back again and slammed the door judiciously.

A thin moue of blood collected in the line which curved along Jesse's thumb towards the wrist. Jesse watched, fascinated, as it pooled in the break of the line where it branched off chaotically before following its solemn course back towards his wrist. He shook his hand, droplets of blood splattering to the sun-baked drive.

‘Jesse, come on!’

A strong hand clamped onto his shoulder from behind. 'Badger, just give me a minute--!' he began, but he was spun around to face a brown-haired man dressed in a shabby suit and a look of fury plastered on his face.

'What's going on?' said the man.

'Hey, let him go! Pedo!' said Skinny Pete.

The man turned to Jesse's friends. 'Get outta here before I call the cops on you as well!'

That was all they needed. They were out of sight before Jesse had time to digest the fact that he was going to be in major trouble for the third time in as many weeks. He swallowed.

'What are you doing, kid?' said the man. He reseated his grasp on Jesse's arm as he struggled to pull free. 'You having a good day, picking on an ill man?'

'I wasn't!' said Jesse. 'It was only a joke!'

'We'll see what the cops think of that,' said the man. He began dragging Jesse towards the house, where the door now cracked open and Spaceman McGill stood there like an executioner awaiting his victim.  
'That's right, Jimmy!' he called out. 'Harassment, that's what my complaint will be!'

'Get off me, homo!' snarled Jesse, twisting and fighting against Jimmy's hold.

'Oh, now the bully's afraid, is he?' said Jimmy. He hauled the kid onto the doorstep and shoved him against the wall there. 'Afraid mommy and daddy won't be happy when the cops show up?'

Jesse paled. 'Wait, can you just please--'

'Not so brave now, are you?' sneered Spaceman McGill.

Jesse pulled away from Jimmy's hold again, groaned as he was pushed back against the wall. 'Look, I'm sorry, okay! I didn't mean it to get out of hand!' He gestured to Spaceman McGill. 'I'm sorry!'

'You're only sorry because you were caught,' he retorted.

Jesse gritted his teeth. He turned to Jimmy instead. ' _Please_ ,' he begged. 'My parents already kicked me out! My aunt's got _cancer_ , she can't have me bringin' her trouble!'

Jimmy frowned. He let go of one of Jesse's arms and wagged a finger in his face. 'You ever come back around here again, you understand me?'

Jesse nodded frantically. 'Yeah, all right. Yeah.'

'Jimmy, don't listen to the little brat!' said Chuck.

'Go on, get out of here,' said Jimmy. He grabbed the kid by his hoodie and pushed him down the path, watching with satisfaction as he stumbled, then took off running. 'Yeah, you better run!' he said. 'Get outta here!'

Jesse wasn't listening. He pelted across the street, back towards home. He didn't bother chasing after his friends.

 

* * *

  
'I hope you're happy,' said Chuck. He shrugged as Jimmy pushed past him, into the dark cool silence of the house. 'You really think that taught him a lesson?'

‘He’s just a kid,’ said Jimmy. ‘He’s not going to harm you.’

'He did.'

'The kid was the one bleeding. I wouldn't be surprised if his parents come here looking to sue.'

'Let them,' said Chuck, a hint of the old relish in his voice. 'We'd take them for everything.'

'Over a kid?'

'Over _that_ demonic excuse for a kid.'

‘You were a kid once, you did dumb stuff.’

‘I didn’t,’ said Chuck. ‘You know I didn’t. It was called having a sense of responsibility, and letting that kid off means he doesn’t learn the consequences.  Then before you know it, that little hoodlum will grow up to be dangerous.’ He scowled. ‘Leopards don’t change their spots – don’t look at me like that, you know I don’t mean you.’

He sighed. ‘Whatever you say.’ He tossed the newspaper at his brother. ‘No harm done, right?’

Chuck opened up the paper. He was silent for a long moment.  'God, imagine how his family must feel,' he muttered eventually.

Jimmy collapsed into the chair opposite, his gaze fixed on Chuck. ‘Yeah,’ he said softly. ‘No harm done.’  



End file.
